We're on a serious simplicity kick over here.

Our house is consciously small, and that means we have to filter out things we already have and stay on top of how much new stuff comes in. And that goes for our kids' belongings, too.

I remember an evening when Lupine was seven and I was tucking her into bed. She cozied up to her two favorite dolls, both made by me.

She looked up at me and said, "Mama, don't ever make me another doll. Because if you do I'll love it so much that I'll forget how much I love the dolls I already have."

Whoa.

Because, yes. It's like that, isn't it?

Too much stuff means we lose track of what we already treasure. We get buried. Overwhelmed.

We become consumers in a big and mindless way.

The truth is, two dolls is probably one too many already.

So this holiday we're keeping it simple.

It's a path we've been on for years.

And yes, I'm blessed with my own parents who "get it" and keep things simple.

And we have a small family. Very little stuff comes into our life every season.

But even without a like-minded family, you can take strides toward simplicity. And see measurable changes!

Here are ten tips to keep your holiday as simple as you can this season, regardless of where you are now.

1. Be honest with family

The holidays can be hard.

So. Much. Stuff!

And for many of us, we find ourselves buried in things to give and receive.

If the holidays leave you feeling a little sick with all the buying, be gentle and honest with those you love.

Year after year if you need to.

I have a few friends who have taken this step as far as being honest that much of what is given is not kept. It's a tough message, but an important one, too.

Request that they give less, or give consumables or non-tangible gifts for the holiday (think museum membership, restaurant gift certificate, or some special ingredients for your kitchen).

Sometimes it takes our family a while to catch on, so be patient as they move towards the path of less with you.

2. Create meaningful traditions

If your holiday revolves around what is under the tree, simplifying can be uncomfortable.

Create traditions that your family looks forward to more than the presents.

We love dipping or rolling candles every Solstice eve, decorating our gingerbread houses, and staying up far past our bedtime.

And this year we're serving dinner at a soup kitchen on Christmas day. We can't wait!

Yes, gifts are lovely, but they aren't the center of our celebration.

3. Ask for and give experiences

Gifts like a pottery class, a one-on-one day with someone special, or a trip to the museum are among the best around.

These are – hands down – the most treasured and remembered gifts my kids receive.

Remind your family that gifts of yourself are remembered for far longer than a new toy.

And keep asking.

Year after year if you have to.

With loving persistence most of them will catch on.

(I shared 101 toy-free gift ideas here if you need more inspiration.)

4. Live your truth

Be a good example!

Start this year by toning down the stuff that comes into your own celebration.

The first year we had a super simple holiday I was nervous. Will the kids be disappointed?

And the answer was a resounding no!

No one noticed how simple our giving had become because we took it a little at a time and we replaced things with experiences. 

(You can read about our super simple celebration from last winter here.)

5. Love coupons

Love coupons are wonderful filler if you are worried about there being not enough under the tree.

And they are a treasured gift in their own right.

My parents began this tradition when our budget was tight when I was a child, and I still love it today.

A Love Coupon is simply a promise – to shovel the snow or take a picnic together; share a trip to the movies or a night camping in the back yard.

Simple gifts of yourself or experiences to share.

One year I gave Pete a dozen date coupons. Sweet, simple, and stuff-less.

Often they are things you would have done anyway, but creating a coupon for it makes it even more special, and something to look forward to.

6. Shop small

If you are buying some gifts (or have a family member who is) give or request handmade.

Ditch the big box store madness and shop small. Shop local. Shop family-owned. 

You can even register for what you want at the Alternative Gift Registry and share the list with your family.

As someone who owns a small business myself, I'll attest to the impact of each and every purchase. You make a difference when you shop small. 

With a bit of searching all kinds of treasures (like this gorgeous doll) will appear.

(Art pictured by local-to-me artist Tammy Olson.)

7. Create it yourself

A gift made by you is the best gift of all!

And you don't have to be crafty to enjoy a DIY holiday.

I have collected some great (arguably crafty) holiday project ideas here and here, but consider a gift of infused olive oil or vinegar, canned goods, homemade mustard, bath fizzies, chocolates, or other simple kitchen wizardry.

And framed kid art is always a hit.

Trust me when I say that people flip when given a small, handmade treat from your heart.

8. Give to charity

If your family loves to buy, request items for a charity you love.

Gifts of pet supplies for the local animal shelter, a Heifer Project donation for a family in need, shampoos, soaps, and lotions for the women's shelter, food for the food pantry.

Make a habit of giving of the abundance your family enjoys.

If your message is not heard this season and more gifts come in than you want to keep, those can also be donated. As one friend put it, "Keep the love and pass the gift along."

9. Be patient

Remember that your partner, your dad, or your grandma might not "get it" the first year.

Or the second.

Or the third.

But trust that they are doing their best with the tools that they have.

Remember that for many buying equates love. And it can be a hard story to re-write.

Keep the spirit of love and compassion in your heart as those you care about (yes, maybe even you!) stumble along this new road.

Change is hard. Give it time.

And for perspective, while my parents give simply, my grandparents did not. When I was a kid I got more gifts than I could count every year.

And I turned out okay.

10. Enjoy this holiday

And when all is said and done, enjoy the holiday – whatever it brings.

Reach for gratitude for your family, your community, your life, and this season.

Go with the flow, as best as you can.

And then next year, begin again.

Love,

Rachel

Originally published in 2013.

Though life is imperfect, I am grateful for the small, simple gifts that illuminate my days.

Hot tea in my mug and the mist on the hills in the morning; a warm fire and full bellies at day's end. And the easy to overlook (but most important of all) gift of being surrounded by those we love.

Happy Thanksgiving to each of you my friends. No matter where life has taken you, may you find many reasons to give thanks. 

Love,

Rachel

Fourteen and ten. How on earthy did this happen? 

No. Seriously. How?

Because growing up seemed to take eons when I was doing it myself, but now – with these two – it's passing in a heartbeat. And suddenly I've become that stereotypical mom-of-older-kids sighing wistfully at time gone by. I swore I'd never be that mama, yet here I am. 

Savor, friends. Savor every single breath.

Because seriously. Look at them.

His feet are two sizes bigger than my own and every day he explains scientific principles to me that are so confusing all I can do is smile, nod, and say, "Wow. That's interesting!" while I shrivel up a bit inside at how an unschooled 14 year old can know so much more than this mama with a science minor.

And her drawing skills eclipse mine more and more each day, as her strength, confidence, courage, and joy grow ever more contagious and strong.

And though I'm not sure when in the past 14 years it happened, no one needs me all night long. (I say this for the parents of wee ones who are up and down all through the night. They will sleep. I promise. Probably not tonight. But eventually.)

And today these children stand before me with an incredible sense of self – so strong in who they are and what makes them tick.

And I'm just standing by bearing witness to their unfolding. 

And that is how it happened that I turned into the old lady at the grocery store with stars in her eyes telling a frazzled mom – who is still wearing four day-old pajamas and holding a screaming, frothing baby – to "savor every moment". (As she wipes the spit up off her neck, wonders if she'll ever sleep again, and considers punching me in the kidney.)

But it's true, mamas. Once you get over the endless nights or the meltdowns or whatever is hard with your kids, this parenting gig goes way too f***ing fast. 

Somebody hold onto my heart. 

P.S. In case you're wondering, We've been taking these photos each year since Sage was 1. Some day I will scan the first several years and then stare at my babies photos all in one place and cry. Because looking at even just the montage above, I honestly can't make sense of how fast the years unfold.

P.P.S. If you're interested you can see more of the series through the years here. 

I originally shared this post in 2009. Since that time the Gratitude Tree has become our favorite Thanksgiving tradition.

This year in particular I'm feeling pulled to focus again on what I have to be thankful for. Because it's easy to get mired in all that is going wrong and forget all that is going right.

Won't you join me? 

As we talk more about deeper meaning and less consumption, I kept circling back to this custom in my mind. The Gratitude Tree.

So I pulled this post from the archives for you in hopes that it inspires connection and meaning in your family celebration. The materials can be put together the night before and need not be fancy. Because simple, I'm finding, often feels better.

When I was a child I don't think I really "got" Thanksgiving.

Sure, we gathered around my grandparents table and used the fancy dishes. We said grace and ate a glorious meal.

But I didn't get it.

Not really.

I knew the story of the first Thanksgiving (the version we were told at school anyway), but the meaning was lost on me.

Because grace was just a prayer we said before meals.

It was a memorized and recited, not felt or understood.

I was glad to gather and eat my grandma's cooking, but that was as deep as my gratitude ran.

And then one year – as an adult – I got it.

I really got it.

I'm not sure when Thanksgiving clicked for me, but now I count it among my favorite of the year.

Because it's all about gratitude.

("Well, duh," you say. But truly. It didn't sink in until adulthood.)

It's counting blessings. Being thankful for the abundance that we possess.

It's about deeply feeling and noticing all that we have.

And as you might guess, I'm all about that.

And now I look forward to Thanksgiving like I once looked forward to Christmas.

Several years ago we started a Gratitude Tree tradition.

It quickly became our favorite Thanksgiving tradition, and one that really brought home the meaning of Thanksgiving for our kids. And come to think of it, for the adults as well.

The Gratitude Tree is a place to note all that you are thankful for.

A way to count your blessings and be mindful of all the richness in your life.

Quite simply it's a tree branch decorated with leaves upon which you've written what you're thankful for.

But it always seems like more than that.

So much more that my mom sometimes keeps the tree from the previous year on her dresser until the following autumn.

Because these blessings are worth remembering throughout the year.

Want to start your own Gratitude Tree tradition?

I thought so.

But keep it simple, won't you? We get so carried away trying to make our traditions picture-perfect to the end of losing our way and forgetting why we're doing it to begin with.

Don't let perfection stand in your way.

Materials

• One branch (or bundle of smaller branches) small enough to fit in your jar or vase
• Mason jar or sturdy vase
• Marbles or stones (optional) to stabilize vase
• Paper (colored paper or old water color paintings are nice but not necessary)
• Paper punch or something pokey to work a hole through your paper
• Yarn or string
• Scissors
• Pencils or pens

Process

Create your "tree"

Cut your branches.

My kids go out each year with clippers and select our branch. It isn't always the most perfect specimen, but I love the role they play in selecting it. If you want a stunning branch, select one on a hike well before the hustle of Thanksgiving.

Feeling fancy? Coat that baby with silver or white sparkly spray paint. Yowza.

Trim the branch so that it isn't obnoxiously tall or wide on your table. You're making a centerpiece – not a brush pile, my friend.

Place the branch in a jar or base. Add pebbles or marbles (optional) to give it a more stable base.

If you have young children and visions of broken vase and bits of tree branch wedged into your turkey, consider a smaller centerpiece. Or as an alternative you can suspend a single branch horizontally above the table. Gorgeous.

Make your leaves

From your old watercolor paintings (or colored paper, or old telephone bills or whatever you've got) cut out leaf shapes. I free form cut simple almond shapes with a little stem, but you can use these templates if you want something more refined.

Punch a hole near the leaf end of your leaves and thread some scrap yarn or string through. Knot.

Arrange your table

Place your tree on your Thanksgiving table.

Surround the tree with scattered leaves and pencils. (Glitter pens would be lovely, but we eat Thanksgiving on Great-Grandma's handmade lace tablecloth. So pencil it is.)

We put our gratitude tree on the table before the guests arrive. Then throughout the evening we all write down anything that we're inspired to share.

Even my dad – not famous for pouring his heart out through the pen – gets into the act.

Share your blessings

After dinner we remove the leaves from the Gratitude Tree and place them in a basket. Then as we gather for dessert or a glass of wine, we pass the basket around the room, taking turns reading the anonymous blessings that were shared.

It's a magical time – sometimes resulting in tears – as we find the words to express all that we are thankful for.

So. Good.

Want more? Five Family Projects to Cultivate Gratitude might be just the ticket. (A post I wrote for Simple Homeschool last year.)

This child with a heart of gold celebrates her golden birthday today.

Ten trips around the sun. Ten years of laughter and magic, strength and determination, kindness and love. Ten years of being so blessed as to share our lives with this girl.

My sweet Lupine, I'm honored to be your mama. You have taught me more than you will ever know. You bring such gifts to my life and to our family, and for that I am so grateful.

I love you, little one. Happy (golden) birthday!

Love,

Mama

As we busily prepare for Halloween – one of our favorite celebrations of the year – I wanted to share with you a beloved fall tradition in our home: the Pumpkin Fairy.

We were introduced to the Pumpkin Fairy by one of my most magical friends when our kids were small. And I am so glad we were! The Pumpkin Fairy is wonderful.

You see, I was always a little sketchy on keeping all that sugar from Halloween around the house. It's not what I wanted my kids to eat, yet I didn't want to be the heavy and swoop in and swipe their candy on November 1.

Also, last year Lupine exhibited a very clear/alarming reaction to food coloring that made Halloween that much more scary. Adding food sensitivities to the mix means that most of the candy that our kids bring home on Halloween fall onto our "no" list right out of the gate.

Hello, rock. Hello, hard place.

And then the Pumpkin Fairy swooped in on an autumn wind and saved the day.

The Pumpkin Fairy arrives by invitation to transform your Halloween treats into a wonderful, simple gift. (If she's never come before it's only because you didn't invite her!) What does she do with the candy? It depends on who you ask. Some kids think she makes the gifts she gives out of the candy she gathers; others think she might build her candy house from them. Personally, I suspect she grinds it up to make fairy dust for all the autumn fairy folk.

Here is how it works: Any willing children select the candy for the Pumpkin Fairy. Some make a selection, others dump in the lot of it. The chosen treats are put it out in a basket, covered with a cloth or silk and left on the table for the Pumpkin Fairy to find in the night. By morning the Pumpkin Fairy has come and transformed the candy into something lovely. (Around here she leaves small treasures akin to what we might find in our spring baskets.)

We find that the size of the gift is determined by how much candy they give, which for one of my kids means most of the bag is handed off and the food allergy candy struggles are over. (*wipes brow*)

In years past the Pumpkin Fairy has brought crystals, craft supplies, small handmade toys, and a special fall book. She always gives things that are a perfect match for the family she's sharing with!

We never force it, and if one child wants to keep a bucket of candy, that is their choice. (Around here that often means swapping out for legal treats from the coop.) But if you let the candy go and share the magic with the Pumpkin Fairy, oh the magic that will come!

So there you go. That's how we do it around here. It's not perfect, but for our family any way it's pretty darn close.

And at the end of the day, Halloween is still my children's favorite celebration. And the Pumpkin Fairy is just one more thing to look forward to. Because Halloween, after all, is so much more than candy. It's costumes and magic mischief and adventure!

And it turns out that the candy was just a sweet little extra all along.

Love,
Rachel

P.S. While we talking about Halloween, read this. Read it right now. Bonus points if you can get to the end without your eyes blurring with tears. Actually, I take that back. Let those tears flow… 

Originally posted in 2015.

I recently organized a meal wheel for a faraway friend in need. A difficult birth and some time in the hospital, she really needed some love. 

A "meal wheel" is simply a succession of friends and neighbors bringing meals to a family in need. It took me only five minutes to set up online, then I shared it with her family and friends.

Within a couple of days she had 2 1/2 weeks worth of meals lined up to ease their transition. 

What a small, simple gift to provide for a new family that can change so much. 

When Lupine was born we were strangers to nearly everyone in our small town.

We had lived here for just six weeks, and knew only a handful of people. And then the phone rang. It was the one acquaintance we knew here from before our move. (A woman who had moved here less than a year before us.)

"Is anyone doing your meal wheel yet?" she asked.

Our what?

"Your meal wheel. I'll organize it for you," she offered. 

While we didn't really know what it was all about, we got the gist: people would be bringing us dinner every evening after our baby arrived. Never mind the fact that we really didn't know anyone here yet. That didn't seem to matter.

And it didn't.

Night after night strangers arrived at our door, carrying meals. Not just main-dish entrees. Meals.

Amazing, magical, delicious meals. Like baked salmon. Fresh salads. Pasta with bacon, spinach, and cream sauce. Kombucha, wine and beer. Dessert. And cards with phone numbers and welcome notes drawing us into this new community.

They just kept coming, night after night. For nearly a month.

Three and a half weeks later we were ready to start cooking for ourselves and our meal wheel had run its course. It was the most amazing welcome I have ever experienced.

If we were having a baby today, most of those same people would be on our meal wheel again. Next week we are bringing a meal to a neighbor who just welcomed their new little one into their arms. And recently a meal wheel organized for an older woman in town who was navigating some health issues.

Just today I received an email from a friend-of-a-friend who participated in a meal wheel I organized a month ago and now has started one of her own to help an injured loved one.

Below is an email I recently sent out as I organized a Meal Wheel in a community where it is not a familiar concept. I made a few edits to make it more universal. Feel free to copy and paste this into your own email:

What is a Meal Wheel?
A meal wheel is a rotation of friends and family delivering a complete dinner, hot and ready to eat to a family who needs a little extra help. When a new baby comes, the Meal Wheel really allows the family to focus on the important work of getting to know their new little one, get into the nursing and napping groove, and relax. As a longtime friend of <my friend's name> I wanted to share this priceless gift with her and her growing family. It was the most valuable gift we received when or last child was born.

How it Works
Participants sign up for a specific night. You arrive with a complete, hot meal at their door around 5:30, stealth into their kitchen, and leave it on the table. <This is one way to do it. Other families will not be comfortable with this and will prefer a traditional ring-the-doorbell approach.>This is not your "meet the baby" visit unless the new parents are inspired. It is really just a quick, quiet delivery and fast exit. This is their time to snuggle in and meet their new little one rather than socialize. That will come later!

Who Can Do It
Friends, neighbors, family, coworkers, colleagues, acquaintances, friends-of-friends… anyone. You get the idea (tell everyone!). Please pass this email onto others who you think would consider participating. We'd love to fill up three to four weeks of dinners for them.

Sign Up!
To sign up for to bring a meal, simply visit this website and add your name to the calendar! [There are some wonderful websites that make organizing a meal wheel simple as can be. I use Meal Train.]

The Meal
Deliver your dinner between <family's preference times, ex: 5:15 and 5:30 pm> ready to eat at <address here>. Enter the house quietly and leave the meal on the kitchen table. Especially in the first few days, Mama and baby will likely be resting. Label your dishes with your name and phone number to make returns easier.

That's it! Many thanks for participating and passing this invitation along. Thanks so much!
<Your Name>

I celebrated my 43rd birthday this weekend with all of the things that matter most to me.

(Namely farm, family, nature, knitting, and copious amounts of good food.)

We even managed to tuck the farm up for a night and slip away to a nearby park with our old camper. Bliss! There were walks to take, frizbees, to catch, marshmallows to torch, and owl music to hear for one glorious overnight. Then we packed up in the morning and hustled back to the farm to check on our flock.

My kids made me some magical presents (kid made is best, don't you think?) and I felt so thankful to be raising kids who love to create as much as I do. And when we returned home I found that the magnolia tree that Pete gave me last year had burst into bloom for my birthday. What a perfect gift!

Wishing you all a wonderful start to your week.

Love,
Rachel