Solitude.
What a radical concept it turned out to be. I was flying solo for the first time in recent memory from Wednesday until Saturday while Pete and the kids enjoyed their papa-cation. Just me. And the cat. (Even the dog was away.) I was truly immersed in solitude.
Truth be told I felt fairly lost after their departure. A mixture of sadness and elation, I wandered from room to room, starting and abandoning project after project until I realized that I needed to sit and simply be in this foreign silence to get to know myself again.
I found a comfortable spot to let go of my thoughts in meditation. It wasn't long but it created such calm and clarity. (I would love to establish a regular practice of finding silence in my days through solo walks and meditation. It would serve us all.) That silence of meditation brought out the post I shared with you on Friday which has resulted in more tear-filled comments and visitors to my blog than in its history. I had no idea how resonant those words would be to you. I feel such gratitude for how you embraced that heart-felt essay.
While I was in the quiet solitude for those three days I gardened for hours in silence, talked uninterrupted with friends, slept long and deep, sewed without distraction, wrote from the heart, and made pickles, butter, yogurt, kefir, and cheese.
I put myself first for a few days and came out on the other side more focused, patient, committed to rhythm and simplicity, and ready to dive back in to family life with a new found clarity.
Who knew that time alone could be so nourishing?
Today we're back together setting out to have a normal, wonderful, magical day together. My intention today is to be truly present with my family. And because my cup is full I have so much more to give.
Seek beauty and presence today in your world. It will transform you.
Love,
Rachel
I am enjoyed time to myself this week too. Well, I am studying…but I’ve managed to sneak in a pedicure, take-out (we never do that and it’s pretty nice to have someone else cook for you I must say), some closet and playroom purging and a lot of interrupted sleeping. I could get used to this, except that I miss my kids like crazy!
I get that renovation experiences even when I get to be lonely a couple of hours.
It’s great you had that time.
Good for you, chica. I can’t hardly imagine such a chunk of time alone… It sounds blissful. I however, am planning a ladies’ long weekend with my college roommate this coming September. There won’t be any quite or reflection… but sometimes I think drinks and dancing can be as good for the soul as gardening and sewing in solitude. 😉
Hello Rachel,
Yours words have resonated a great deal in me, because at this moment, this is what I am reaching towards. Solitude is a concept that so many of us mothers do not grab and use!
I homeschool my teen kids and I have a disabled daughter, so solitude is something I have to carve out and keep jealously in my to do list.
I am glad that you enjoyed your time…
Blessings,
Maria
Agreed. Its the dichotomy (love being alone/wouldnt want to do it for long) that keeps our heart in our day-to-day and celebrating those stolen moments.
Agreed!
Maria, for many reasons I have never prioritized it. In fact, most of my closest friends are in the same reality so it even seems normal to rarely have an hour alone. And yet, we thrive when we care for ourselves as well. Who knew?
It’s the old “oxygen mask” idea — put on your own before putting on those of your children. You have to take care of yourself before you’re in a position to take care of others. Glad you got some time to recharge.
A few DAYS sounds like heaven. I can’t wait until I’m not pregnant or breastfeeding (for the first time in 6 years) so that I can have some “me” time. I’m actually kind of scared of it, I know it is going to take me some sitting to remember what I am all about.
Marni,
I was pregnant or breastfeeding since 2001. Until last summer. (And having only two kids that says a lot!). Me time is scary, but beautiful.
xo Rachel
Its funny. The whole put your own mask on first business was always disturbing to me, even as a teenager. My mama-mojo makes so much sense all of a sudden.
~ Rachel