Your Kindness.



Hello kind friends. I needed to come here for a moment to say that you amaze me. I am again brought to my knees, but this time by your true outpouring of love, gratitude, and understanding.

Thank you for your words.

For your acceptance.

For your empathy and your love.

Thank you for truly seeing me.

And thank you for taking a moment to tell me what this space and these words mean to you. I truly had no idea how deeply you have been touched.

So yes, I'm going ot take a deep breath (as many of you suggested) and perhaps have a birthday do-over (as many of you have also suggested). I need to sit a while with where to go from here, but know that I will be back. And soon.

I do need some time to heal and rest and connect with why I come here, but I needed to tell you that I have read – and felt in my soul – every comment, every message, every emotion-filled email. (Yes, most with tears streaming down my cheeks.) Oh, my. Those were powerful words. And for that I thank you.

I don't know where I will go from here, but the critical mass of your voices is sending me a clear message that what I have offered to you here is of value. I'm honored. And I appreciate you finding your collective voice to tell me all that you have.

So much love, gratitude, and – yes – peace,


37 thoughts on “Your Kindness.

  1. Kristina says:

    And, if you decide that the best thing for you and your family is to close this season of your life, or make this blog completely about your business, we will understand that, too.

  2. Em H says:

    I am so glad you found some comfort and some peace from the last few days. Please continue sharing your voice and experiences with us. It is a gift, and for me an encouragement in a hard time (though I’m sorry for your own troubles). Be well.

  3. Dark Blue Dragon says:

    I hope you find a happy place today. I hope you don’t mind but I did a post today about you and what happened over on my blog. We Mamas have to stick together, this job is hard enough to be fighting within our selves.

    Here’s to better days!

  4. Alex says:

    Hello Rachel,

    I’ve been away from the computer for a couple of days, thus didn’t read your last posts until tonight.

    Evene if ti seems like lot’s of readers alreday told you what i’m about to elle you, i just neeed to say it! I come here to read your words every day or so, and this little time is so meaningfull for me. Reading your blog is a big part of my journeuy towards mindfull parenting of course, but also towards a more meaningfull life, closer to what I want for myself or my family. I tend to feel isolated in France where I find the “alternative parents, alternative people looking for another type of life than the one we can have when he don’t think about our lives”, and coming to this sapce heals me very often, gives me hope, and I usually go back to my life feeling recharged.
    I am also very criticised (mostly by both our families, because we don’t force, have obediant children, homeschool etc…), a,d I tend to feel devastated when this happens. So I just imagine how you could have felt a couple of days ago. And I feel very sad. I have never felt that you are judging, I just feel that you spaek in a very true and deep voice, about what matters to you, and you seem to know what you want or don’t want for your family. A woman once told me that I seemed to know what I want for my kids, and I felt her words were very positive!

    I wish nobody would attack you, but I also think that for a lot of people, trinyg to live this kind of meaningfull life is like criticising thir own lifestyle.

    I really hope you’ll heal, and selfishly, that you’ll keep on coming here and sharing your thoughts and wisdom!


  5. Sara says:

    This has been such a powerful dialogue! many tears all around. Love and light to you, Rachel… but also to this amazing community of readers you have. 🙂

  6. Emma says:

    As a humble and stumbling student of NVC, I can’t help but feel worry and concern, that in the process of giving Rachel support in her own pain and sadness, that we (commenters) have not fully explored and given empathy to the “meanness” of the original commenters that triggered all this. I say this because NVC is based on the principle that ALL the things we say or do are expressions of beautiful life affirming needs, that are either being met or not met. Has the woman or women who commented the “mean” comments been heard as well, even just within our own hearts and minds. If not, I personally believe that this process is not complete. I would really meet my need for trust and connectedness to hear and see other explore the beautiful needs behind everyone involved.

  7. Bethany says:

    It’s a strange world we live in where we can share the intimate workings of our lives with the world, and so sad that some choose to abuse the vulnerability that we share. I am so sorry that your courage to share your beliefs and invite others’ opinions caused you so much hurt. I count myself truly fortunate to read your blog and learn from your wisdom and as I contemplate my own values and traditions for my family. Sending peace and love your way….

  8. Rachel Wolf says:

    Thank you. So much. I agree. In fact, one of the women whos comments hurt me this weekend emailed me yesterday. She is the only email (of well over 100) that I have responded to as of yet. She was able to share where the feeling came from and I was able to reply to her privately. Because as beautiful as your comments and emails have been, that one couldnt wait.

    Thank you so much for saying this. And now Ive responded to two of those emails/comments. 🙂
    Big hug,

  9. Jennifer says:

    I don’t know you; you don’t know me. I don’t know how I even found your site. My heart goes out to you as I react in the same way to things. Remeber people’s comments are coming from where they are at that moment. The really are not reflections on you. If it is worth anything at all your blog is a beautiful record of your life that some day your children will reflect on and your willingness to be brave will be a great gift for them. Please don’t stop writing and documenting your life even if you choose to not do it in a public setting.

  10. Julien says:

    I missed the big brouhaha too, but I did really enjoy your links. I want to add my voice to the choir- I value so much your point of view of relationships with children. It has dramatically changed the relationships I have with the children in my life for the better. I approach teaching, learning and parenting completely differently and I now consider the motivations behind their actions before the actions themselves. This leads to learning opportunities instead of discipline. There’s still some discipline in our lives, but far less and better behavior. Yes, my life is more peaceful now. Thank you.

  11. nikka says:

    The words ” thought for the day” ring in my ears as callous. Humbling snd imperative- timely too. Thank you for sharring your concern.

  12. Jackie says:

    Sorry this has all happened. I’ve only just found your blog this past month so I hope you don’t go away. But, as Jennifer commented yesterday, your blog is a way of documenting your life, and you may certainly find other ways to do it.

    My birthday is this weekend. I totally get how things could become emotional for you when what you wanted to do was celebrate.

    I hadn’t read your links because I didn’t have much time. I respect that you tried to open the floor for discussion, and think it shows how much trust you have in humankind. If everyone could have trust like that when other people speak their piece, then they might be less likely to accuse others of being judgemental. Trust is so important for ‘community’ to happen, and it is sorely missing from our crazy lives. Glad there are people like you and your readers around to help restore Trust.


  13. susan says:

    A little late on this as I only find time to check in once or twice a week, but I just had to add my voice to the many – you are amazing, you are loved, you are appreciated! I don’t have much time this morning to comment (which is good, because I’m a long-winded person 😉 but you have been the most positive mothering example in my life. Thank you a million times over. And if my daughter fully understood the difference you were making in HER life, I’m guessing she’d thank you, too. I hope your birthday do-over is full of joy.

  14. Mary Jo, Five Green Acres says:

    Hi Rachel –
    Just popping in to say that the delete comment button is under your command and that I hope you feel empowered to use it judiciously. This is your space, created with loving intention, and you reserve every right to control what gets published here. Perhaps a swift delete of those vicious comments will nip them in the bud before they can spiral out of control and grow more menacing. That sentiment, I’m thoroughly convinced, is born of deep insecurity. Don’t let them get you down, Girl! Delete their asses! Go team! 😉

  15. Karla says:

    I hadn’t caught your post the other day so I just read it now. *sigh* I didn’t get a chance to read the articles or watch those video clips you suggested, but I do undertsand the feeling of wondering what people think when I say possibly controversial things… nevermind starting something when you didn’t realize there was really an issue to begin with!

    I don’t have much of a following on my blog so I don’t get many comments, but I’m aware that there must be quite a few who don’t like what I have to say. Sometimes it surprises me what people choose to comment on, though – like the person who advised me to be careful about posting a butter recipe because of the cholesterol content. I told her not to make it if she couldn’t have butter!

    Anyhoo… there are many who would miss you if you chose to stop sharing your life. In the end it’s your decision, though, and of course you want to be doing it for the right reasons. Is the joy you get in writing and hearing from others more important than the sadness you feel from the few critics? Sometimes sharing is worth the risk. As you know, you can’t please everyone; there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees with you.

    Be mindful of the fact that someone who disagrees with you MIGHT actually have a valid point, but if they’re being downright disrespectful or mean-spirited I would agree with some of the other comments that said to go ahead and DELETE. In my experience, it’s all too easy to go back and brood over criticism, so might as well get rid of it while you can!

  16. Nicole says:

    Dear Rachel, I’ve been mulling over things the last few days and what I would like to say has already been said by the many great friends you have. In my case it really boils down to this: I get up in the morning, get my coffee and check in with three very different blogs from three very different women. Women who make me think, dream and give me a good and peaceful outlook about my day, before all the crazy stuff begins. Yours is one of them. Thank you.

  17. Amber J says:

    I love your blog and your parenting tips and simplifying tips have changed my life. The way you write here has a deep positive effect on me and I am so thankful that you have this blog and are choosing to share your life and wisdom! I read the articles you posted and listened to the lectures and I found them to be very great. All in different ways, the vulnerability lecture was particularly wonderful. My entire family watched it and we were changed by it. Thank you Rachel! Many blessings to you and yours!

  18. Joline@KentuckySublime says:

    Dear Rachel,
    I just started reading your blog a couple weeks ago… and was thinking that I wanted to connect with you and let you know how much I am enjoying what you have to say. I have played around with blogging for awhile now and still dont feel like I have figured out what direction to go. It is mostly out of fear of using my voice and regretting what I say or what people may hear. It sounds like what just happened to you is one of the biggest “lows” of blogging- I am afraid of that for myself. But I want you to know that your highs should come from knowing that a mother like me from another state is waking up everyday looking forward to an intelligent, gentle, inspiring voice- like yours- to help lead me where I know we need to go as good mothers. There is only one or two other blogs that I can say that about- so for that, please continue. “The article” that you posted was a bit shocking but I totally get why you shared it with us. And you already know that you will never grow if you dont take risks and make a few mistakes along the way. So again… please continue.

Leave a Reply