We can't help but notice.
We see it all around us. The apparent perfection in other people's lives.
It hurst our eyes. And our hearts.
We see their pretty houses or expansive yards.
Their harmonious families, or the children we still ache to have.
We notice their tidy family rooms and their spotless floors.
And we compare.
And we fall short.
Yes. I've done it too.
I remember an appointment I had a few weeks postpartum with my second child.
I was still wearing some maternity clothes because, well, they fit.
My shirt was milk- and spit-up stained, baggy, and worn. I think I was wearing yoga (read: pajama) pants and big, sloppy winter boots. (Size elevens.)
was greeted at my appointment by the smiling face of the most gorgeous,
together woman I think I had ever seen.
I still remember her tall leather boots, wool tights, and denim skirt. She was so fashionable it made my
And I very nearly burst into tears.
Because suddenly I was not enough.
Enough "pretty." Enough "thin." Enough "together."
Enough to whom, I ask now, six years later?
Only to me.
And for that moment I ceased to see the beauty in my life, in my heart, and in myself.
I saw only what I was not doing "right".
I saw only my shadows.
And while I judged myself, I also judged her, secretly hating her for having it so together.
On Pinterest, Facebook, the blogs we read.
Mixed with the love and appreciation we feel for the people we follow, we compare ourselves.
Because we see their apparent perfection.
And only our own flaws.
And we dislike them for having it together. And we dislike us for not.
We are inadequate.
We fall short.
Time and again.
(I've done it, too. I have.)
So I ask you this:
Does it serve you to compare?
Are you happier for it?
Does it make you a better person?
Does your heart soar when you compare or does it drag you under?
And what would happen if you stopped?
Would you see your own magic?
Could you see your life as beautiful?
Know that everyone is blessed and everyone is flawed.
Stop searching for perfection in others and seeing only shortcomings in yourself.
You deserve so much more.
Because yes, you are imperfect.
And so am I.
And so is everyone.
You are also brilliantly you, shining a light like none other in all the world.
Only you can do that.
So instead of comparing yourself, simply be yourself.
With the wabi-sabi perfection of your every imperfection.
And then shine your light, sister.
Shine so bright.
As only you can do.
P.S. You might also enjoy this post on why I share what I do on the blog (and omit what I do). An oldie-but-goodie.