The pressure is off.












Before I got sick I had an ever-growing to-do list.

Gardening, organization, putting food by, building projects… so much to do this first summer at our farm.

And then Lyme came.

And I put the list away.

(I kept it, mind you. But I've stopped looking at if for the moment.)

The antibiotics I'm taking require me to stay out of the sun. (Yes. In July.) So I'm carving out time and space to rest and heal while summer swirls around me.

So instead of working I'm knitting more than usual. Quick, easy, adorable baby things for all the babies coming into my life. 

And I'm sitting in the shade while the kids play outside.

I'm playing board games at the table during hours I would have spent pulling weeds and tending gardens and working my ass off.

I'm healing and resting and just being here. Now.

And truly, it's been so good for me.

What a gift it has been.

The pressure is off. I'm doing what I want, when I want.

And I'm healing.

: : :

But then…

the berries started to ripen.

And I imagined a winter without jam in the pantry.

Without a freezer full of fruit for smoothies and desserts.

And honestly I couldn't bear it.

So we headed out to the cherry tree and the mulberry tree and picked until our hands were purple.

And we stopped by Mary's farm and ordered all the strawberries she could spare. (25 quarts as it turned out.)

And suddenly we're elbow deep in summer sweetness.

And simultaneously: ack!/hooray!

If I'm honest I'd admit to craving this flurry of busy.

It feels like a little bit of July normalcy. A little canning jar madness in my sunny aftrernoon.

And despite the 16 quarts of berries waiting for me on the porch this morning, the pressure is off.

We'll accomplish what we can and the rest will get bagged and frozen and we'll call it enough.

I think I like this new plan. All the sweetness, none of the pressure.

Yeah. I could live like this.




18 thoughts on “The pressure is off.

  1. Little Mountain Haven says:

    I’m glad your able to find the joy of being still while healing. Late summer last year I was suppose to be on bed rest during my 3rd trimester and I was going insane with all the things that had to get done in the garden and the fact that it was the peak harvest season.

    It’s been hard to read about you being so sick, I can’t imagine but Im sure being in a little bit of sunshine was lovely and good for the spirit.

    I wish you lots of happy healing thoughts and happy canning with your family!

  2. Karen says:

    I can get behind that too – “all the sweetness, none of the pressure”.
    And finding a bit of the balance too.
    Take care, and eat berries.

  3. Michelle says:

    We should all live like that, healing or not. You give such good advice Rachel. I wish you a speedy recovery, if such a thing is possible. Is it?

  4. Mama Ash Grove says:

    Ah, I am glad to hear you are keeping your hands busy while you work on healing! It reminds me of my July 3 years ago, when I was hugely expecting my little son and had pregnancy induced hypertension- I did an awful lot of sitting and knitting. At the time, it was not easy to be sure- I wanted to be up and about as usual and I watched the summer moving along without me and the garden overgrowing.
    But you know what, now 3 years later I remember that time differently- as a peaceful time to rest, in my usually busy life.
    I wish you a good recovery, and enjoy your resting time. 🙂

  5. KC says:

    How lucky you are to have a cherry tree and a mulberry tree near by! And 25 quarts of strawberries?! Oh my.

    It would seem to me you have your head on perfect straight to kick this Lyme good bye and to enjoy the summer.

    Much love and good vibes!

  6. Danielle says:

    Oh no! While I’m sad to hear that you’re so so sick, I’m thankful for the perspective it has brought you and the way you’ve shared it all with us.

  7. Emily says:

    I am so glad you’re feeling well enough to tackle that fruit! (Canning is so daunting to me – maybe soon.) Enjoy your bit of summer!

  8. Angie says:

    Just like you to see it as a gift and find a new perspective on how to accomplish what you want. I do love that about you 🙂

  9. amber jackson says:

    Sometimes life brings us balance in strange and mysterious ways. Wishing for deep and thorough healing to your body and balance in all other aspects of your life 🙂

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