Moving through.

Moving Through. | Clean.

I had a terrible day last Friday.

Complete with confusion, adrenaline, fear, sadness, shame – the whole package.

It sucked.

And I'm not telling you this to be dramatic or mysterious, but instead to remind you – when you slip into that wormhole-of-a-terrible-day yourself – that you aren't on that journey alone.

We all have brutal days. Or moments. Or experiences.

The kind that leave us feeling shaken and emotionally gutted.


Some we own the responsibility for, others feel like they happened "to" us.

Often it's both.

Either way we can get stuck there or we can get over it.

Get on with it.


After a day or so I got my head back on straight and realized that you know, it wasn't nearly what it might have been.

Really, few things we experience are.

Because even if your day felt like a train wreck, there probably wasn't a real train wreck involved, which would have been way worse.


Most of my hard day isn't something I want to talk about here. It isn't my story to tell, and out of respect for the others involved I won't be more specific. 

I will say however that sometimes this life business is a damn rocky ride.


Work can be hard. Marriage can be hard. Mothering can be hard.

Life can be hard.

You hope to do right by your loved ones at every turn.

And usually you get it right.

But sometimes you don't.


And other times you mostly nail it but shit goes haywire anyway.


Either way you'll probably stand in shock or despair now and again, wondering if you made the right choices.

And sometimes you'll know that you didn't.


The truth is, we all have hard days.

Or weeks. Even years.

It's part of this "life" deal.


We also get weeks when we have everything dialed in and we just can't miss.

You're a superstar!


Until you're not.


What made my day hard isn't relevant.


What's relevant is that it's universal.

Pain. Hardship. Fear. Vulnerability. Struggle.

And we have to get through it, because who wants to live there?

So we walk on.

We find healing.


For me, I put away the to-do list.

And I picked up my knitting.

I went to sleep at 8:00 and woke at 7.

I held my children close.

I talked to a few folks who I knew would understand.


And slowly, slowly I'm feeling like myself again.


Because your life and mine will have painful stretches.

Where small or big things go wrong and we have to keep plodding along.

It comes with the job description of being a living, breathing, feeling person.


The best we can do is muster the strength to lift our head and walk on.

And then, when we're ready, we can celebrate all that didn't go haywire this time.


And we'll count our blessings in friends and family; tea and sleep; sunrises and fresh yarn.

We'll notice everything that is just so, right where it should be, right where it is.

And we'll know that we're okay.



23 thoughts on “Moving through.

  1. kriston says:

    I needed this today, it’s been a rough one here. The little one fell down the stairs and knocked out hi 2 bottom teeth, devasted, crushed, angry at myself. Thanfyl in all other ways he’s ok nd I not affected by his morning as I am. I just ve to remember i too am human……..your posts are o spot on nd inspiring. Thank you!

  2. Veronique Maes says:

    Most of the time, we are looking for excuses when somethings going wrong,or we have no time for doing things together. But times go one… Never coming back.
    My goal is exercising to do it better than today.
    Long live learning:)

  3. nicole says:


    Thank you so much for your insight and your honesty. I find myself in the “even years” category, but there is so much beauty in the midst of it all if we can just be present with ourselves and keep carrying on. You are one beautiful lady, Rachel. Keep on keepin´on!

  4. Loretta says:

    While reading this, the tears were rolling down my cheeks… These past few months have been the hardest I’ve ever had. You’re right; life is hard. And we do get on with it, even if our hearts are heavy with pain.
    Thank you for your honesty and for reminding me that we all have difficulties from time to time.

  5. Mikaela says:

    I had a day (week) like this two weeks ago, and I’ve been working on coping too. Realizing that you’re not the only one this has ever happened to (and that in fact EVERYONE deals with things like this from time to time) is half the battle. This: and this: really helped me get through too–allowing myself to “be absolutely open to life as it is” rather than fighting against reality. Thanks for sharing your honest, raw experience with us – this kind of emotion is truly a universal thread that binds us all together.

  6. Miriam says:

    It gets better. We just have to remember that it does, because when we are in “that” state it feels like forever. Glad you have support and hot tea and yarn..Big hug.warm wishes for you to get through this stronger.

  7. Rin says:

    I’m sorry you had such a hard day. This blog resonated so much within me today that I’m in tears. Recently gone through a tough time with a friend of my own and everything you said hits the nail right on the head.

    Moving on through and forwards and thank you for reminding me that no matter how hard it seems I am not alone.


  8. Sagetribe says:

    Thank you so much for posting these links. This is the work I’m doing as a writing circle facilitator and have NEVER seen them.

    Those shake up days suck! It’s good to feel somewhat awakened after them though. Sometimes I’m even in a better place than before they happened.

  9. Knitting Mole says:

    Loving it when those good days outnumber the bad. And doing my best to make that happen! Saturday = bad, but Sunday (my girl’s 3rd b-day) = GOOD! Even after all the stuff that was swamping our to-do list that day before the party, the DH and I made it through and had a great, amazingly relaxed day. My daughter has taken to asking “you happy?” each evening and I was so glad to say “Yes!”
    Here’s to happy days coming your way Rachel!

  10. cheri says:

    I look forward to your posts in my inbox and I love following your crafts.

    I don’t normally comment, but I was inspired to share my projects as well.

    I’ve recently cleared an energy block in my 2nd chakra, and my arts and crafting has been out of this world! currently sitting on my dining table (which is more often used as my art table and we eat on the couch – I love my small house, but I can’t wait for our remodel and my art room!) are some painted strips of watercolor paper just waiting to be made into lanterns (thanks to your post a couple weeks ago), a jar of tiles to be arranged into a mosaic backsplash, which will be added to the play kitchen I’m making for my almost 3yo daughter (which is being crafted and upcycled in my basement from goodwill furniture, dreams, and elbow grease), I have branches on the porch waiting to be painted silver for our gratitude tree (thank you again), the first of 2 mini handwarmers (fingerless mittens) almost finished on my knitting needles for my sweet girl.

    and then all my kitchen projects!

    thank you for your inspiration. and for being real.

  11. Heidi Hiemke says:

    I’m just now reading this post Rachel. Thank you for sharing, for your wise gentle words and for being right in the thick of it in such an honest and relatable way. This is why I keep coming back here. Love to you and your family and your farm animals this Holiday season.

Leave a Reply