In the past two and a half weeks I've broken my only pair of glasses, had my car fatally break down for the last time, and watched with disbelief as my computer followed my car into death with a sickening crash in the middle of a busy workday.
None of these were in our budget.
And as we dissected my computer on the kitchen table to see if we could remove the hard drive and save some important files, Lupine went downstairs for laundry, then yelled, "THE BASEMENT IS FLOODED!"
I looked at Pete over my gutted computer and said softly, "I might cry."
We grabbed shovels, buckets, and brooms and raced downstairs. Thankfully the day I felted my slippers I spent a couple of hours down there, cleaning and organizing. I was grateful. It was a lot of water, but we had faced worse.
As we shoveled water across the floor toward the sump pump Lupine suddenly sang out, "Oh, mama, look! It's like waves at the beach!"
She found beauty in this mess.
I think that that right there is the key to happiness.
Every time things feel like they're falling apart, we stand at a fork in the road: lay down and give up or decide where to go from here.
See only what's broken or find a silver lining in all the comforts that still surround you.
Honestly, I won't pretend that I pensively reflected on the blessings of the past few weeks and the opportunities these challenges provide. I didn't. It's stretching us.
But in the grand scheme these struggles are little more than an inconvenience.
Because even if I'm not sure how our budget will adapt, we have healthy food on the table and a dry roof above our heads. Even if I don't know how I'll get my work done before a new computer arrives, I'm not at risk of losing my job because I've missed a deadline. Even if my basement is ankle-deep with water, we have a warm and dry place to sleep each night.
We're safe, we're fed, we're together, we're healthy. And really those are the ones that matter.
That being said, my posts here will be spotty until a replacement computer arrives later this week. I'll share a few favorite re-posts in the mean time, and I'll still be popping onto Instagram to share. (Links to the right, or find me at lusa_mama and lusa_organics over there.)
Be well, friends. Below is a repost from 2013.
Sometimes I can't fall asleep at night because Pete has the light on so that he can knit. Until almost midnight.
Sometimes the kids crawl into bed with us at 2 AM and bicker about who's elbow is jammed into who's ribs; or who is hogging the blankets.
Sometimes the heater gets inadvertently turned up and by 4 AM it's way too warm to fall back to sleep.
Sometimes at 5:30 the dog and the cat are alternatly licking my face or pawing my feet or otherwise doing their best to love me awake.
Sometimes I roll out of bed in the morning grumpy and tired – only to discover that no one washed the dishes last night and the coffee pot is still dirty from the day before.
Sometimes I wonder what today is going to bring with all of this tired and crabby going on.
And then I remember.
I remember that I have a kind, thoughtful, funny, loving husband. (Who knits!)
I remember that I have two amazing kids to keep me awake all night.
I remember that I have a house and a heater and a big bed to be jammed into with all of these wonderful people.
I remember that we had dinner last night and the promise of breakfast and coffee today (and a faucet of clean, hot water to wash it all up with).
Sometimes I remember to find gratitude in the act of simply waking up.