I can still remember what it feels like to mother young children.
The hands-on, in-arms, constant nature of that work.
Being an all-in-all-the-time mama has been my most important role, but also my most difficult. Parenthood (for me) is consuming.
But things change. Kids grow. Space is made.
Today my children are older; more independent. They are big enough that I can be more than just their mama. (Some people pull this off when their kids are young. I didn't. At least not well.) So today I can feel myself expanding. Simultaneously I can be their mother and more. I can be a small business owner; a maker; a writer; a partner; a decent friend. (And not just when someone is napping.)
I can be a person who is a mother and so much more.
Which, of course, I always was. There just wasn't often time to explore it.
With that in mind I loaded my cross country skis, a sewing machine, a cooler, and an unreasonable number of knitting projects into my car last week and embarked – alone – for a few days alongside the river.
Once I got over the strangeness of being truly alone I set up a bit of a Santa's workshop in the cabin – sewing, knitting, and otherwise making from before the sun rose until long after it set. Crafting breaks meant walks along the river, too many cups of tea, and skiing through the forest. It was restorative.
Half-way through my stay my dearest friend from long before motherhood arrived, and we spent the last two days together – catching up, resting, and creating.
And while I was grateful to come home and reconnect with my family, I was even more grateful for this space that has magically formed in my life, for all of the things that I hold dear.
Friends with little ones, know that someday you will sleep through the night again. You will eat a meal that is still hot, and you will find yourself with time on your hands to rediscover yourself again. This I know for sure.
(As for using the bathroom without someone talking to you through the door or full on walking in? That one, I regret to inform you, remains to be seen.)