No need to apologize


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I've always tried to shoot straight with you about the myth that we as a culture have built of perfection. But I'll be honest – there are days I scroll through my Instagram feed and feel like I just don't measure up. There are photos I choose not to share (like the one of Lupine above) because they are imperfect; messy; vulnerably real.

And I must remind myself often to not buy into the myth. 

Though the pictures above doesn't quite capture the chaos all around me, trust me when I tell you that life here is messy. Last night at 10 PM the kids and I were still up – still making, still doing. This morning the aftermath of that late night craft-a-thon remains. (We'll get to that, right after breakfast.)

There is no depth of field short enough to blur out our messes. 

We have many boots and no where to store them, loads of hobbies and passions and an utter lack of shelves. We live messy. Full blown, gloves off messy.

And sure, I can make excuses about four crafty people homeschooling in a small house with abysmal storage, but that only feeds the belief that there's a picture-perfect standard we should all be striving for. And that belief feeds on our shame, insecurities, and the fear that we won't measure up. That if we have clutter in the corner we aren't good enough. 

But sisters, we need no excuses. We live here. Out loud, hands-on, life-learning live here. 

Life is messy. And despite our best efforts, sometimes it piles up. 

And that means there will be three baskets of laundry on the living room floor because today we said yes to baking bread and carving spoons instead of folding. There will be art supplies on the table and dishes in the sink, because this is where we learn. (And we'll wash them up before bedtime anyway, so why fuss?) There will be piles of library books on the floor beside the dust bunnies, because reading comes first. 

Yes, some of us were born with a tidy gene that others were passed over for. Some of us thrive only in order, while others gravitate toward chaos. And I'm here to tell you that all of those are valid. Not just the picture-perfect ones.

So welcome to our home!

We live here. It's messy. And there is no need to apologize.




You might also enjoy Cropping, and Sisterhood of the Messy House.


9 thoughts on “No need to apologize

  1. Meghan Campbell says:

    I needed this today, Rachel. And I really loved seeing the pictures of your lovely, cozy home. I feel like I’d take a deep breath visiting your home.

    Thank you so much,


  2. Barb says:

    I tidied up the house and the porch, where all of our barn boots are deposited, just before the weaver’s group arrived on Monday. It looked so nice. But now….eh….looks like your first photo again. And that is OK because it’s real life.

  3. Susan says:

    Girl, I have a book where I write quotes that speak to me and sister, that quote is going in there right now. Housework is a crime, it should be locked up!

  4. Susan says:

    When I opened your post, I noticed to myself that your house looked real, like people lived in it, who knew that that would be the theme of your post. Keep preaching, girl, because children are not with us for that long…stop and think about it, by age 18 they are spreading their wings and then, poof, they are gone. My kids are in their 30’s and the time just flew by.
    The dust, dirt and confusion is temporary and as you know, the time you spent LIVING is what matters.
    Enjoy every moment, it goes by in a flash.

  5. Mathidle says:

    I think the first post of yours I ever read was stisterhood of the messy house, and it stuck with me! Whenever I try to tidy up for guests, I think about it and eventually give up! Because making my house look very unrealistically (however imperfectly) clean and tidy for guests just feeds into this myth, feeds the unrealistic standard and ultimately hurts my friends. So I keep the cobwebs, the dust bunnies and the rest, and feel very good about doing my friends a favour. All thanks to you! 🙂

  6. Gina Byun says:

    In a time where minimalism is preached so loudly, accompanied by perfect pictures, this post and your honesty are welcome words of grace.

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