Our main family celebration of the year is not Christmas but Winter Solstice. As a secular family, we have been celebrating Solstice for some 15 years, since our first born was just a baby. Many of our current customs date back to this tentative start at creating our own meaningful family celebrations, and each year we tweak and refine the to suit our evolving needs and desires. 

For years I have fielded questions about how we celebrate – questions from other parents who are looking to create their own treasured family rituals. It seems we're not alone in seeking out meaningful traditions for our family! 

The longest night and shortest day are a wonderful time for us to slow down, gather together as a family, and focus in on what matters to us most. Into the darkness we bring all the light that we can – both literally and figuratively.

Each Solstice celebration is a bit different than the ones before, but our traditions always center around flickering flames, family, and connection, and takes place on the day before Winter Solstice, or Solstice Eve (we normally celebrate on either December 20 or 21).

We exchange handmade gifts as well, but they are a small part of our day, rather than the central feature. Indeed, our celebration is made of so much more than presents! 

For those of you trying to carve out your own annual family traditions, here's a peek at some of the things we enjoy each Solstice night! (A few afflinks follow.)

Solstice Crafts

We are a family of makers. Few things bring us more contentment than a day spent with hands and minds busily creating. Solstice Night is no different, and a wonderful excuse to make things together, all day long. A few favorite crafts we enjoy on Solstice include…

Window Stars

Folded paper window stars are simple to make and beautiful to behold. We display them in nearly every window of the house, where they catch the fleeting sunlight. If you've never made window stars, be prepared to be as addicted as your kids! This book offers simple, easy instructions.

Cut-paper snowflakes are another option, though with a bit more clean-up and slightly less pizazz. 

Pine Cone Bird Feeders

Several years ago we foraged a bagful of giant pinecones from a road trip down south. They are perfect for making pinecone bird feeders, though small local red pine cones are lovely as well. Every year we spread some pine cones with nut butter, then roll them in bird seed and hang up outside the kitchen window as a Solstice gift for the birds.

Candle- and Luminary-Making

Because Solstice is a celebration of fire and light on this darkest day of the year, we always make candles for the coming year on Solstice Eve.

Rolled beeswax candles made from flat wax sheets are easiest for younger kids – and fun for even adults – but this year we're returning to our tradition of dipping beeswax candles and making beeswax candle luminaries once more.

Gingerbread Houses

The kids each decorate a gingerbread house on the day of our Solstice celebration. Baked earlier in the week from whatever recipe we're gleaned from the interwebs and cut from a simple sketched house design, the kids assemble and bejewel them with candies throughout Solstice eve. (We normally choose YumEarth treats since they are corn syrup- and food coloring-free, but still bright and festive.)

Family Time

Aside from making, Solstice Night is full of family time. Games, books, songs, and stories are all part of our celebration. 

Seasonal Books

Because my kids are getting older, read-alouds don't play the part they once did. I still occasionally manage to pull and old favorite off the shelf to read on Solstice. Our favorite seasonal books include The Shortest Day, The Return of the Light, and classic winter tales like Ollie's Ski Trip, The Sun Egg, It's Snowing, The Tomten, and The Big Snow.

Winter Walk, Sled, or Ski

Getting outside is an almost non-negotiable piece of our Solstice celebration. A hike, ski, snowshoe, or sledding adventure is just the thing to celebrate the longest night! 

Campfire

Being a fire celebration, each Solstice night at sunset we bundle up and head to the woods to light a campfire in the snow. This is, quite possibly, my favorite part of the night. We drink tea or eggnog as the fire crackles and the sun sets, make a wish for the coming year on a stick or leaf we each toss in the fire, the walk home through the dark woods (no headlamps!) to a warm house and dinner by candlelight.

Candlelight

As the sky quickly darkens on Solstice Eve, we light candles (some freshly made) throughout the house. These are our light for the coming evening and set a relaxed and festive tone for the rest of our celebration. We aren't sticklers for "no electric lights" on this night, but we do our best to limit them as much as possible to set a festive tone. Candlelight also relaxes everyone, encouraging a slightly earlier bedtime, in the event that you accidentally set your kids up to pull an all-nighter*. (*See "Staying Up Late," below.) 

Locally-Grown Dinner

Inspired by a Martin and Sylva story on Sparkle Stories, we recently began a tradition of an all local dinner on Solstice night. Homegrown chicken, duck, or quail; butternut squash from a friend's garden; milk and cheese from a cow we know by name; kale from a nearby farm. We live in an area rich beyond belief in local food, making our celebratory meal that much more delightful to put together.

Gifts

Because, yes, there are gifts! They just aren't the main focus of our celebration. Our gifts are small and usually handmade – from freezer paper stenciled t-shirts to homemade aprons to handmade caramels.

Occasionally something larger finds its way in (like a knitted sweater) but usually smaller is better in our world. I make each of the kids three small gifts each year, and one is always a handmade ornament for the Solstice tree. My grandma made my sister and I each a collection of beaded and embroidered ornaments when we were kids that I treasure to this day, so I adopted this craft as an annual tradition in our family.

Staying up Late

One of the favorite parts of our Solstice celebration when the kids were young was to stay up as late as we wished (or, as the family rule went, "all night, or until someone loses their mind"). Very loosely based on the Pagan tradition of keeping vigil by the fire throughout the longest night, then celebrating with the rising sun (but minus the Pagan bit), we decided that Solstice was a good reason to treat the kids to a wildly late bedtime once a year.

That said, as the kids have gotten older they can, quite literally, stay up all night (unlike their parents) so this tradition has been modified to "stay up until midnight" with excellent results. (Parents of young kids, choose your words and traditions carefully! Your teen will remember it all!)

Solstice Sun

When the sun rises on Winter Solstice Day, we celebrate by pulling our Solstice Sun from the starry sky envelope, and hanging it in the window. We made it through the longest night, and from here the sun grows stronger and the days grow longer. We think that's something worth celebrating. (I made the sun a decade or so ago using an easy-to cut and emboss metal tooling kit, but I've always wanted to remake it with wool felt. 

I hope the list above inspires you to create some traditions of your own this season! If celebrating Winter Solstice is new for your family, I encourage you to start slowly. Choose just two or three new traditions, then tweak in the coming years to add or subtract based on your needs. (Doing too much at once can easily overwhelm, and makes for a burdensome holiday rather than a joyful one.)

Wishing you all much light and magic during these dark winter days!

Overwhelmed? I feel ya. This post (from December 16, a couple of years back) feels more timely than ever this season! Even if it is only the 8th…

This season I am sharing some of my favorite past posts that help us cultivate more simple, meaningful holidays.

This post from 2013 is one of the most resonant pieces I think I have ever shared. It struck a cord for so many of you who are striving for less stuff and more meaning in your lives. Though our family celebrates Winter Solstice instead of Christmas, what I have written below is equally resonant no matter how (or what) you celebrate. 

Enjoy!

Rachel

We're on a serious simplicity kick over here.

Our house is consciously small, and that means we have to filter out things we already have and stay on top of how much new stuff comes in.

Recently Lupine and I were tucking into bed and as she cozied up to her two favorite dolls, both made by me.

She looked up at me and said, "Mama, don't ever make me another doll. Because if you do I'll love it so much that I'll forget how much I love the dolls I already have."

And, whoa.

Because, yes. It's like that, isn't it?

Too much stuff means we lose track of what we already treasure. We get buried. Overwhelmed.

We become consumers in a big and mindless way.

The truth is, two dolls is probably one too many.

So this holiday we're keeping it simple.

It's a path we've been on for years.

And yes, I'm blessed with my own parents who "get it" and keep things simple.

And we have a small family. Very little stuff comes into our life every season.

But even without a like-minded family, you can take strides toward simplicity. And see measurable changes!

Here are ten tips to keep your holiday as simple as you can this season, regardless of where you are now.

1. Be honest with family

The holidays can be hard.

So. Much. Stuff!

And for many of us, we find ourselves buried in things to give and receive.

If the holidays leave you feeling a little sick with all the buying, be gentle and honest with those you love.

Year after year if you need to.

I have a few friends who have taken this step as far as being honest that much of what is given is not kept. It's a tough message, but an important one, too.

Request that they give less, or give consumables or non-tangible gifts for the holiday (think museum membership, restaurant gift certificate, or some special ingredients for your kitchen).

Sometimes it takes our family a while to catch on, so be patient as they move towards the path of less with you.

2. Create meaningful traditions

If your holiday revolves around what is under the tree, simplifying can be uncomfortable.

Create traditions that your family looks forward to more than the presents.

We love dipping or rolling candles every Solstice eve, decorating our gingerbread houses, and staying up far past our bedtime.

And this year we're serving dinner at a soup kitchen on Christmas day. We can't wait!

Yes, gifts are lovely, but they aren't the center of our celebration.

3. Ask for and give experiences

Gifts like a pottery class, a one-on-one day with someone special, or a trip to the museum are among the best around.

These are – hands down – the most treasured and remembered gifts my kids receive.

Remind your family that gifts of yourself are remembered for far longer than a new toy.

And keep asking.

Year after year if you have to.

With loving persistence most of them will catch on.

4. Live your truth

Be a good example!

Start this year by toning down the stuff that comes into your own celebration.

The first year we had a super simple holiday I was nervous. Will the kids be disappointed?

And the answer was a resounding no!

No one noticed how simple our giving had become because we took it a little at a time and we replaced things with experiences. 

(You can read about our super simple celebration from a past winter here.)

5. Love coupons

Love coupons are wonderful filler if you are worried about there being not enough under the tree.

And they are a treasured gift in their own right.

My parents began this tradition when our budget was tight when I was a child, and I still love it today.

A Love Coupon is simply a promise – to shovel the snow or take a picnic together; share a trip to the movies or a night camping in the back yard.

Simple gifts of yourself or experiences to share.

One year I gave Pete a dozen date coupons. Sweet, simple, and stuff-less.

Often they are things you would have done anyway, but creating a coupon for it makes it even more special, and something to look forward to.

6. Shop small

If you are buying some gifts (or have a family member who is) give or request handmade.

Ditch the big box store madness and shop small. Shop local. Shop family-owned. 

You can even register for what you want at the Alternative Gift Registry and share the list with your family.

As someone who owns a small business myself, I'll attest to the impact of each and every purchase. You make a difference when you shop small. 

With a bit of searching all kinds of treasures (like this gorgeous doll) will appear.

7. Create it yourself

A gift made by you is the best gift of all!

And you don't have to be crafty to enjoy a DIY holiday.

I have collected some great (arguably crafty) holiday project ideas here and here, but consider a gift of infused olive oil or vinegar, canned goods, homemade mustard, bath fizzies, chocolates, or other simple kitchen wizardry.

And framed kid art is always a hit.

Trust me when I say that people flip when given a small, handmade treat from your heart.

8. Give to charity

If your family loves to buy, request items for a charity you love.

Gifts of pet supplies for the local animal shelter, a Heifer Project donation for a family in need, shampoos, soaps, and lotions for the women's shelter, food for the food pantry.

Make a habit of giving of the abundance your family enjoys.

If your message is not heard this season and more gifts come in than you want to keep, those can also be donated. As one friend put it, "Keep the love and pass the gift along."

9. Be patient

Remember that your partner, your dad, or your grandma might not "get it" the first year.

Or the second.

Or the third.

But trust that they are doing their best with the tools that they have.

Remember that for many buying equates love. And it can be a hard story to re-write.

Keep the spirit of love and compassion in your heart as those you care about (yes, maybe even you!) stumble along this new road.

Change is hard. Give it time.

And for perspective, while my parents give simply, my grandparents did not. When I was a kid I got more gifts than I could count every year.

And I turned out okay.

10. Enjoy this holiday

And when all is said and done, enjoy the holiday – whatever it brings.

Reach for gratitude for your family, your community, your life, and this season.

Go with the flow, as best as you can.

And then next year, begin again.

Love,

Rachel

We headed to the Christmas tree farm yesterday to cut our tree, a week or so ahead of our usual last minute schedule. (Yay, us!) This was mostly due to Lupine's calendar management skills, and noting that cutting next weekend would be too late, due to some plans on our schedule later this month. Duly noted. 

We wandered through the grove of spruces and firs, overhearing other families with younger children taking part in their own versions of the same ritual. And I remembered the many past seasons when we have done the same. The four of us together, in the woods, saw in hand. Sometimes with a baby tied on, sometimes with a toddler face planting in the snow, but always together.

And though our life looks little like it did in the early years of parenting, our tree cutting ritual remains.

Perhaps, at its heart, childhood (and parenthood) is simply a long, repeating chorus of the traditions we hold dear.

Some we love and maintain for a while, and then let go when the time is right – our weekly Sunday brunch or nightly walks when the kids were young. Others continue on, despite the growing up happening around them. So we hold onto our family read-alouds before sleep, we never miss a maple tapping season, and each December brings batches of Solstice Spirals from the oven.

And though my children have grown more quickly than even I anticipated, we're still here, saw in hand as the light fades, choosing our tree.

Together.

Despite the countless bumps in this parenting journey – and even more so in our journey through life – we have created a few simple traditions that bring us back to where we truly belong. To family, to togetherness, and to the things that truly matter. 

And for that I will always be grateful.

Santa.

Are you inspired to have a more simple holiday with a little less excess at the end of the season? Especially when it comes to your children?

You're not alone.

Since I shared these two posts to inspire more simple celebrations and to share our family's almost toy-free journey, I've gotten several emails asking for a bit more guidance.

Less toys? Yes! Less clutter? Please! Less consumption? Amen.

These ideas are easy to get on board with until it's time to wrap presents or stuff stockings.

But then what?

Right. That's when it gets sticky.

So a couple of years ago (when Sage was 12 and Lupine was 8) we worked together on a list of 101 toy-free (and many clutter-free, consumption-free, stuff-free!) gifts to give to your littles this season. Just for you!

Going toy-free requires a little thinking outside the box, so be open to new traditions and a new way of doing things.

Remember: just because it's a new idea for your crew doesn't mean it won't be fan-freaking-tastic. You might find that you all love it more than you ever imagined.

Lupine's birthday is just days away. And though Novembers are notoriously brimful around here – from our busiest LüSa month to our busiest birthday month; deer season and the start of the holiday season – I was committed to making it special.

And my gift this year? We'll, it's let's just say it's not my best work.

So when she asked to break away for a girls' weekend at the cabin with one of her dearest friends (and by default one of mine), I shook out the calendar pages until enough space was made for a quick adventure up north.

It was, quite possibly, the quickest trip to the cabin we've had since shaking off the Monday to Friday work week, yet it somehow felt spacious and indulgent just the same. We were lucky enough to arrive in time for the first snow of the year, a fluffy few inches coating every branch and rock the first morning we awoke. We enjoyed copious amounts of comfort food, row after row of mindless knitting, great belly laughs, and the telling of so many stories.

 And now, somehow, Monday is here and we're diving back into November once more. 

But how grateful I am for falling snow, for friendship, and for a weekend beside the river. 

I can't wait to do it all again. (But that might have to wait until after November.)