On Timing and Trust.

We sometimes move slowly around here.

This summer I invited Sage to learn to ride and care for horses at a local riding camp. He made it clear that he was not ready
so I let it go.

Fast forward three months, and Sage chose to spend his
birthday riding at a stable near our cabin. I'm
not sure what changes occurred between May and August, but they were profound
for Sage. He asked to spend this most special day riding for the first time, and then he spent the rest of the week
dreaming of our country home, complete with horses galore.





Why the change? Perhaps because we didn't push. Perhaps because he had time to grow and stretch and align with the idea. Perhaps because it was right all along but he had time to grow into the truth. And now? We're signing up for riding and horse care classes at the local stable for the fall. We'll be there in the barn each week dreaming our big dreams.

Its all about timing and trust, isn't it? Trusting them to know their own truth, and letting it unfurl as it will, when the time is right.

12 thoughts on “On Timing and Trust.

  1. Casey says:

    Horses are such magical, spiritual creatures — I’m sure Sage will get along with them famously. <3 Good for you for letting something so wonderful happen naturally.

  2. Julie says:

    I so agree with you! We are a unschooling family of 2 girls, 6 and 9 who live in Boston. We have always waited until they are “ready” to decide how they would like to spend their time. It amazes me how the “general public” feels they can comment, such as “shouldn’t she be in a ballet class or something, she’s six?” My we have a lot to teach this world:)

  3. Kim Miller says:

    “Trusting them to know their own truth…in their own time” so true but sometimes difficult to remember. Although reminded of that often by my older daughter and the way she processes the world. That’s actually what led us into homeschooling for a couple years- we wanted her to learn to read on her own schedule, not the school’s.

  4. Rachel Wolf says:

    They know themselves, and when we push they just pull back or stuff emotions or revolt. None fun options. As for beds, we all wake up in our bed-of-choice each morning, few of us where we laid our heads the night before. Works for us!

    xo Rachel

  5. Kim Miller says:

    Yes we homeschooled for 2nd and 3rd grade. Which was mostly a good experience for us and Elena became a voracious reader which I know wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t given her the time and space to learn at her own pace.

    Now she and her sister are in a really wonderful independent non-profit progressive education school that suits her to a T (http://www.wingraschool.org/). No grades, no tests, tables, lofts and couches instead of desks, very hands on, teachers and kids are mutually respectful and actively learn side by side. It’s unlike any school I have ever seen or attended. Elena’s going on a camp out next week with her class and teachers. Downside- it’s 25 miles from where we live and it’s not cheap.

    Hope you had a great week. I can’t believe Sage (and my younger daughter) are 8 already. Where is the time going???

  6. Lindsay says:

    I just found your blog recently. I love this post, as my daughter is so very much like that (and it’s a big reason I’m very firm on unschooling with her). Often, I will ask if she wants to try something, do something, taste something, etc., and she will say no. If I push, even a little, the answer remains no and ends up in butting heads. If I just say “okay” and back off, often she will approach me on her own initiative later (sometimes minutes, sometimes days) and she has changed her mind. She is only three, but definitely has her own mind about things. I love that about her and would hate for it to be stifled in a public school.

    As for cosleeping, we coslept with her full-time until last May (she would have been about 32 months I believe). One day, she asked to sleep in her own bed. I had never even mentioned to her (that I could remember) that she should sleep in her bed overnight. She had a room we had set up to put her toys in that she didn’t want the baby to play with, and it had a bed, but for the most part until then the bed was just for sitting on and cuddling under. Since May, she has slept in her bed most nights, completely of her own initiative. Yet, so many people told me if I didn’t force her, or make a big deal of it, or tell her what a big girl she needs to be, that she would never leave our room. 😉

  7. Rachel Wolf says:

    Hi Lindsay, It does tie to so much more, doesnt it? We know our own truths – and our own children – better than anyone else ever could. I try to remember that they mean well and dont understand how we roll around here. Of course they will wean, sleep alone, move out, etc. when they are ready! Thanks for your note, Lindsay!


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