Some days I just want to ignore my children and my responsibilities and knit all day long.
Some days I fantasize about not doing the wash and not cooking dinner and not homeschooling and just bundling up under a quilt and knitting all darn day. Selfishly. Alone.
"Maybe they have a project to do all day long that doesn't involve me! Maybe we can eat smoothies for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Maybe dirty socks are as warm as clean socks today."
Or, maybe not.
Sure, sometimes I really don't do the laundry and we do have smoothies for two meals in a row. But those days are rare and either glorious or uncomfortable, depending on why they've occurred.
Yesterday was the latter.
We got a slow start. I woke the kids an hour later than they normally rise on their own and we never really hit our groove. So I brought a simple knitting project to the homeschool table, kept lessons short, and we ate yogurt and quesadillas for lunch.
Yes. I have days – as do you I suspect – where I just want to call it all off.
Somehow, even though coming home is always the sweetest part of going away, it's still sticky for us. Reintegration. Getting back into the groove of the day-to-day rhythm at home and the work of the life we have created.
We love our rhythm but once we've lost it, it can be tricky to pick up again.
Yesterday was our first day back on our (still new to us) homeschooling schedule and I'll go ahead and say it: we were bored. Bored and antsy. For whatever reason I didn't have it in me to load the watercolors into the picnic basket and head to the hills (so to speak).
We just sort of languished. Struggled. Suffered along through the day. With Sage bouncing off the walls and me gazing longingly at my knitting and Lupine wanting for things that weren't in the cards.
So we kept things short all day, and ended up in bed early. But even with calling off much of our day, none of us ever hit our groove. It was just mildly uncomfortable to be in our own skins right up until bedtime.
But just like I encourage boredom in my kids to help launch them
into the next plateau of creativity, I guess sometimes I also need it
myself. So there were no escape routes, no quick fixes. We just suffered through, searching for our collective groove.
Somehow I thought you might want to know. That it's not always glitter and sunbeams over here. We argue, we get bored and restless, we struggle. Because we are, after all, human. With better days and worse days.
I just wanted you to know.
And for the record, today feels better already. (Goodness, it's hard to type with my fingers crossed…)
23 thoughts on “Reintegration.”
Thank you for sharing this. It is so true. I had a conversation with a dear friend about the same thing on Monday. Starting our groove up again. We had a day that we were all out of whack. It’s hard to remember in the moment that there is a lesson for all of us in that experience as well.
Thank you, I needed that.
Love this post.
I hear ya…. Thanks for sharing. I really like the watercolors your children used. The containers look larger than the ones I usually see. Did you get them from an art supply store?
This describes my yesterday too, it was pouring down and we never quite made it to our usual tasks. We did some nice stuff but by the end of the day I was weary and scratchy and so were the kids. This morning was brighter, I felt more focused and the cobwebs seem blown away. It’s funny how it goes, perhaps it’s the equinox having her wicked way with us ; )
oh yes. we’ve had our share of those days, today being one 😉 so glad you’re feeling back on track and more the rhythm is humming along for you guys today!
when I finished reading, I said out loud, “I love this.” Thanks for taking a moment to share.
Oh let me clarify. I am truly sorry you had a hard day, but I LOVE that you were honest about it. There are those days when the pull of sitting under a blanket instead of crawling around on the floor feels almost too hard to fight, but each day is new. Hope today left those crossed fingers successfully better!
I love when you share these things. Our morning started way to early, in the dark proceeded by a wicked temper tantrum and followed up with me having poop on my hands from the baby. When these things happen I just think” this too shall pass.”
I really love your blog. I’ve been reading it daily for the past couple of weeks since I found you through Soulemama. Thanks for the honesty. Sometimes everything looks so rosy on blog land and its good to know you’re experiencing real life too!
Hi rachel, just like Bronwyn, I too found you through soulemama. It was from a post about home remedies for whooping cough. Anyway, I too love your blog, especially because of posts like today. I am a crochet addict and many a time I too wish I didn;t have to go through the daily chores and all the things that a mother of a 3 year old needs to do, and could simply sit somewhere and get on with crocheting my t shirt yarn rugs.Many a times have I gazed at my work in progress longing to take it up rather than be doing the laundry, or sweeping the floor or coaxing my son to have his bath etc etc.
Yes, some bloggers lives seem so perfect! and it makes us mere mortals feel inadequate.
Thanks for your honest Rachel. I do feel like you are one of us.
They are from Stubby Pencil Studio. There is a link to them in my sponsors list. We love these paints!
I appreciate your original comment so, and knew exactly what you meant. Thank you!
Yes it will. I think the longer I have mothered the more aware of that I have become.
Agreed, Bronwyn. So glad you came over and decided to stay.
I suspect we all are ~ Its just a matter of how we tell our stories. Glad you have found your way to my space. Hugs, Rachel
Thank you. I truly appreciate how candid you are in your posts. Some days are just hard… there’s no way around that, and it’s nice to hear from another mom too.
And hope today is smoother for you and your kids!
Oh yes, I think most of us have those days…I fantasized this morning actually that I could stay in bed and knit, pull up a cheesy movie on the laptop and the kids wouldn’t even notice…but they would so we went about our day, we are finding getting into a fall rhythm a bit of a struggle around here…
After following your blog for some time, just want to thank you for all in it. Your ideas, reflections, what you learn, what you feel…your good days and worse days. They are all helpfull and inspiring. Keep going, please.
I wonder if you have read anything from Rebecca Wild (founder and teacher in a Pestalozzi school in Ecuador). I found her books useful to learn to follow my children moods and interests and embrace them how they are and how they are feeling at each moment. Which doesn´t mean that I get it. And it´s harder when you are not in the mood either.I also have to learn to deal with myself. But I try. And it helps to see we are all trying and struggling.
Thank you again. I think you are doing great.
Thank you for your words, Patricia. I have not heard of Rebecca Wild. Thank you for the suggestion.
I truely appreciate your writing’s and find they are often what I need to read! Blogging is such a funny relationship isnt it?, so one sided. Helpful, encouraging, but sometimes easy to think WOW “it must be all glitter over there, all the time!”
Im a mom to 4 wild boys, aged 1, 3, 5, and 7
We are in the process of finding our way in this homeschooling/unschooling/interest led learning education… Im sure the process never ends, just as though our education in never ending.
So keep it coming I love your stuff.