I spet last weekend alone. It was only the second such weekend I've had in almost twelve years, since becoming a mom.
Always with someone.
I'm crazy about my people which obviously is a good thing considering this record. I guess I just don't pine away for a break very often now that my kids are past the up-all-night-nursing-and-or-crying/being-touched-all-day stage.
And when I do need a break an evening spent talking, knitting, and sharing a glass of wine with a friend normally does the trick.
But this. This was just me and the farm animals for three days.
There have been a handful of weekends with Pete in that time time and one weekend with a friend at the cabin, but being alone is different. The space and the silence is deep.
I walked to the creek with the dogs, slept long, and ate well. I returned to the core of who I am, the things that bring me pleasure. Writing, making, baking, thinking.
I binged on podcasts.
And what I noticed was that as my family has grown up, despite our constant togetherness, the pang I'd experienced at parting before was absent this time. It was noteworthy. So my time was not squandered worrying about how everyone was, worrying if they needed me, worrying about worrying. Because they were fine. I knew it.
And so I wrote.
I dug deep into the project I'm currently engrossed in and was so thankful for a little space to begin working through the details.
And because everyone needs a break from writing for three days straight, I also organized my sewing room and finished painting my kitchen.
Yes, I suppose one blessings of not being a tv or movie person (or, I confess, a voracious reader) is productivity even when I "rest".
We haven't painted since we moved to our farm almost two years ago. Since we rented our farm for the first year painting was out and once we bought it there were other priorities.
But finally it was done. My almost-too-cheerful-to-bear yellow kitchen was transformed to serene grey over the past two weeks and the final touches were completed while my family was away.
Aqua door. Mod Podged outlets. Vintage travel plates. And of course my beloved globes.
And you know those "Amazing $2600 Kitchen Remodel!" posts you see now and then? I started doing the math while I was putting pottery back on the shelf:
Paint (used three gallons of white we had and paid the hardware store to tint it): $5
Aqua shelf (Goodwill plus a bit of the paint, above): $2
Two new tourist plates for the wall: $3
Old calender for switch plate covers: $0
The rest (Be clever. Use what you have.): $0
So in the end my "amazing kitchen remodel" ran me ten bucks and part of two weekends of my time.
Not too shabby for what feels like a completely new space.
The house was pretty spotless until my family returned and I lived in a twisted fantasy of clean dishes, swept floors, and no clutter for exactly three days. It was disorienting but nice.
And then yesterday they returned.
And now my serene grey and aqua kitchen is decorated with not only vintage globes and travel plates but also a Dungeons and Dragons board, two pairs of swimming goggles, one jar of mud, and eighteen thousand dirty pairs shoes.
I can live with that.
Because I'm so glad they're home.