I'm up early. A decaf latte in my hand and sound-blocking ear muffs ready for when the rest of the family wakes up in an hour or so. It's cold in the house at 6:30 so I also dig out my slippers, hat and fingerless gloves. All handmade by me, but sometimes I wonder how I found the time.
Today I'm up, trying to carve out some work time for myself. Because I sometimes remember: I'm supposed to be running a business too. On top of the rest. I have an amazing team at LuSa Organics, but this business is my baby. It's all out of my head – every recipe, every ethic of how we do it, every scent blend. And I need to stay with it to keep things humming in the direction I have in my heart.
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Occasionally (like today) I feel my confidence waver over just how many things I'm juggling at one time. I want so much to do well at what I've set out to do, but sometimes I worry. Can I pull this off?
Mothering. Homeschooling. Housekeeping. Running a small business. Growing said business. Visioning for the future. Writing this blog. Writing a book. Dreaming our country dream over and over again as we sell our home and get ready for moving. And then there is making time to connect with myself, my friends, my husband, and my family beyond this house.
Sometimes that seems like too much.
Today Pete and I started a new work schedule which has me here at the computer from whatever-time-I-can-talk-myself-out-of-bed until 10:30 AM. Which is great. But also when I do make time to step into business owner mode I panic a little. Because, well, I'm not they business person type. I'm a people-person and a words-person and a teaching-person and a feeling-person more than a systems and production and growth and charts person. And while our products are outstanding, LuSa Organics doesn't compare in size or sophistication to the big-yet-honorable family business out there. (Like this one or this one or this one.) I'm teeny. Teeny tiny little me. Sitting here in a wool hat and PJ's at 6:30 in the morning, tweaking labels and designing new products and trying to update ingredients and prices and do a little marketing between homeschooling, laundry, and dinner prep.
And sometimes I hope that is good enough.